Occupation Frustration

Lately I am "stuck" in my working life and don't know which road to take... let me explain:

I come from a big family of newspaper workers (printers, photographers and journalists) my Father is a newspaper photographer and my Mother was a journalist and since the age of 18 I worked for newspapers, and some magazines too, for many years (all my working life in the U.K.) which I enjoyed so much.
So when I came to Brasil of course all that had to change for me as the language here is Portuguese and not English, so I started working in English schools as a native English teacher.

The year I arrived here the (then) government was giving away working and living visas to anyone who had gone over their 3 months to stay in the country, it was an "Amnesty for Foreigners"
So of course I applied and got my permanent visa (which is a kind of i.d card) along with full legal status to live and work in Brasil as long as I like, of which I was so lucky to get as the current President would never do anything like this for foreigners in Brasil, if it was now I would have had to leave Brasil years ago.

So off I went to the English schools, working visa in hand, and started having interviews all over the place...
To my amazement my permanent visa "scared" most of the Director's in the schools as they are so used to foreigners coming to Brasil and working illegally, of which they prefer (cheaper for them), so my visa was worthless in my new-found occupation.
I did get lots of work as all schools love to hire native-speaking teachers who bring much more business for them as most people prefer to have a British or American teacher.
Anyway I had all my interviews, chose the school who paid the most money and stuck with them... for a while.

Over the years I have had uncountable bad experiences within the English schools... I have changed schools like most people change their socks, I have been cheated out of money, been given the worst lessons (late nights and early mornings), had to travel to dangerous places (most of my lessons were outside of the schools, working in companies all over the city) and have never had the same rights as Brazilian workers have: health insurance paid by the companies, paid sick-leave and holiday pay, travelling expenses to and from the lessons, Christmas bonus, e.t.c...
So basically if I was ever sick and couldn't work, or had a couple of weeks holiday when my family visited me then I never got paid.

A while ago I was cheated once more and got so frustrated with being so exploited over the years that I ended up giving up working in English schools altogether and just gave private lessons instead.
Now I am so fed up of teaching English... I'm in a rut and I don't have the same inspiration as before... in truth it's making me very depressed.

I know what you are thinking: You have your permanent visa - why not do something else?
but the problem is unless you are in an industry (like oil) here in Brasil then it is so difficult for a foreigner to do anything else here but teach English, so I am stuck on a straight road where I really need to turn left and do something different but I have no means or chance to do so.
I feel like I am not working to my full potential and when I remember how happy I was in my work in England it makes me sad.

Don't get me wrong; I don't think I am such a special person that I should be doing something "more important" - I would clean toilets if I had to, and if it made me happy, and I'm not the kind of person who thinks that some jobs are lower than others, I see everyone as equal and always have.

I am so happy in every other part of my life here in Brasil and I love Brasil so very, very much, I just wish that I had the choice, or chance, to change my profession to something I would once again enjoy and be happy with... I feel as if I am not a complete person anymore :(

My Beautiful Babies!

As I have spoken quite a bit here about my babies, who are a huge part of my life, I decided to post a couple of photos of them!

The first photo is Lucy and Bridget playing with stones in my garden.

Lucy is a black terrier crossbreed who "found me" on the street one evening as I was walking home... she was no bigger than my hand at that time and only around 4-5 weeks old. She ran up to me and acted as if she already knew me and asked to be picked up, needless to say I did pick her up in one second, fell in love with her completely and brought her home, she is a real character who has, what I believe, an old reencarnated soul. I would never have left her there on that dark and busy road that night.

Bridget is a yellow Labrador with a pure British pedigree, she is so loyal and loving and follows me absolutely everywhere. She waits for me on the bathroom rug as I have a shower and whenever I stand still around the house she lays down on my feet!

When she was a puppy she almost died (she caught a serious and deadly infection) and the vet said that she had no hope of surviving and I was so upset. She had very strong antibiotics and wouldn't eat anything, however I wouldn't give up on her and so I stayed awake with her completely for 48 hours without sleep, getting her to eat little by little and feeding her by hand.

I was trying to get her to eat anything, which she slowly did, and after a week of her almost dying I had nursed her back to health and proved the vet wrong, Thank God :)

2 years later she is very healthy and would eat non-stop if I allowed her to!

She is so connected with me, I think even more so because of all we went through together.

And this little Beauty is my Baby Minnie, she is a black and tan Miniature Micro-Pinscher but one of her grandfathers was a Chihuahua and so she has facial features more similar to a Chihuahua.
She is so tiny that even my vet commented that he has never seen a dog so small in all his years of work!! (she is a little bit bigger than my hand)
She is a wonderful little companion and so very loving and spends all her waking and sleeping hours with me (she stays with me in the top part of the house whilst Bridget and Lucy live downstairs)
In the cold weather she loves to wear her little doggy clothes and "asks" me to put them on her, she has a complete Summer and Winter collection! She is very spoilt (and completely deserves to be) and more than anything she knows that she is Beautiful! haha :)

Have I mentioned how much I Love my Babies?!

What Do You Miss?

Being an expat living abroad many people have asked me what do I miss the most from back home in the U.K.?

Apart from the obvious answer: my family and friends, there are only a few other things that I truly do miss... some are still with me on a daily basis that I simply cannot say goodbye to (like English Tetley teabags, My Monthly Dvd Magazines along with any Dvd's from the U.K. that I can't get here) that are all sent to me each month - Thanks Dad! :) - what would we do without our parents eh?!

Other things I do miss are: Branston Pickle, Piccalilli, McVities Digestive biscuits, McVities Chocolate Covered Homewheat Biscuits, McVities Cream Crackers, Custard Cream Biscuits, Bourbon Biscuits, Cadbury's Flake, Cadbury's Cream Eggs, Rowntree's Turkish Delight, Smarties, Rowntree's Bon Bons, Rowntree's Rolos, Cola Bottles, Colman's Mustard, Bread Pudding, Bird's Eye Custard, Flapjacks, Crumpets, Marks & Spencer ready meals and many toiletries and certain brand hairgels that seem exclusive to Europe - it's a shame that The Body Shop and Boots don't exist here!

Since living here I have either said goodbye to all of the above permanently or replaced it with something Brazilian that is just as good, or sometimes isn't so good but there is just no other choice available... Luckily I am the kind of person that adapts very easily to new surroundings and I get used to new things extremely quick and can go without the "normal necessities" that most people need, or indeed think they need.

Some of the things on my list have a connection with memories that can never be replaced and I do admit to missing them enormously, especially as a lot of them remind me of my childhood... Sitting at the kitchen table with my Nan, cup of tea in one hand and two Custard Cream Biscuits in the other. Memories of "dunking" the biscuit in my tea for a couple of seconds too long and ending up with a stodgy mess at the bottom of the cup and trying to fish most of it out with a small teaspoon! My Nan saying to me: "I told you not to leave it in too long you silly sod!!" Ahh memories! All frozen in time, along with my long-gone and much-adored Grandmothers.

Then I'm 20 years old, eating hot buttered crumpets whilst sitting by the fire reading the Sunday newspapers that my Dad got hot off of the press at his work the night before and watching some crappy early morning television programme after a drunken Saturday night ritual (London nightclubbing with the usual gang of friends) Arriving home and realising that the post-club veggie burger that I bought in "Costa's late night cafe" on the Kings Road wasn't sufficient enough to take away my enormous hunger and so, as usual, I raid the kitchen food cupboards for my favourite things as the morning light appears.

Years later I'm sitting with my Mum in the living room of my apartment in London the night before I came to Brasil, drinking cups of hot tea with her, chatting and reminiscing about things that have happened to us in the past, good things, bad things, happy and sad, laughing and crying with her and not wanting that night to ever end thinking about the following day's unbearably sad goodbye at the airport, where we would be clinging to each other until the final boarding call almost realising that we would never get to see each other again.

Needless to say that we never slept that night, instead staying awake talking about everything that we could think of and playing "eye spy" until the sun rose the next morning. "You will be coming home to see us next Christmas won't you Son?! Promise me you will!" "Yes Mum, of course! I promise!"

Sadly I never made it home that Christmas, it was my Mum's last... I'd almost ran out of money and was busy looking to find work teaching English to pay my bills and my rent to survive, things that seem so irrelevant now.

My Dad later said to me that I was the luckiest person out of all of us in our family as I was the one with all the happy memories of Mum, the way that she should be remembered, always laughing, always beautiful, always healthy. Some memories can never be erased and never should be. Some people say we need to look forward to the future, which is true, but this doesn't mean that the past should be forgotten, memories remind us where we came from and what we are... all the good things, bad things and truly terrible things in life mould us and shape us and make us unique and I wouldn't be the person that I am today without them.

So, being a really non-materialistic person, I get to the end of this text and what do I miss? I miss the irreplaceable, most other things seem so futile when put against what really matter most in life; people, family, loved ones and a really nice cup of English tea!

"Brasil Oh How I Love You!" - Original Poetry By Me

Blue oceans all around me,

And lapping at my feet,

The golden sand reflects the sun,

My God how life is sweet!

Brasil oh how I love you!

You changed my life you know,

You've shown me so much beauty,

You've shown me how to grow.

Beaches and mountains in paradise,

Clean air and sky so blue,

A sea that's never ending,

A love affair so true.

I don't belong back home no more,

The sky for me is too dull,

This Brit has finally realised,

He has a Brazilian soul.

© 06/2008

Friendship Award From Leo!

Today I opened my e-mail and was very happy to discover that my dear friend Leo had sent me a Friendship Award to put here on my Blog!!

Thank you so much Leo! I loved receiving this award! and it concretes the fact that there are still extremely good and kind people out in the world!

Thank you for your friendship and thank you for your kindness Brother! The award will be displayed permanently here on my Blog, with pride of having such a great friend!!

Great/Good/Beautiful Heart Award From Jeannie

I have just received my first award from my Dearest Friend Jeannie and I am so happy upon receiving it! Thank you so much Jeannie!! It will be permanently displayed here on my Blog, with pride!!! :)

You truly are a very dear and beautiful friend and you deserve this award much more than me!

Here is what Jeannie wrote about me:

Donnie, que tiene un corazón como muy pocos hombres tienen, que es un amigo incondicional, y con quien me he reído muuucho y también hemos llorado y nos hemos enojado tratando de hacer entrar al otro en razones. (Donnie, what I said here is that you have a beautiful heart which so few men nowadays have, you are an unconditional friend, with whom I have laughed A LOT and we have also cried and have got angry at each other trying to make the other one see clearly and understand. And because of this I am giving you this prize, "Award to a great/good/beautiful heart"... all these translations can be given for what it is called/means in Spanish)

So I am passing this award onto some of my friends here, who also deserve it and who also have great, good and beautiful hearts:

Isabella

Leo

gonebacksouth

menopausaloldbag

The Lehners In France

expatmum