Rio In My Heart

When I first arrived here in Brazil one of the first things I wanted to do was to go and visit the "Cristo Redentor" (Christ The Redeemer) statue that watches over the city of Rio de Janeiro. I had seen it in documentaries and travel programmes when I was living in England but nothing prepares you for the real spectacle of this gigantic spiritual presence up-close.

The statue is located on the 2,300 feet high Corcovado mountain, it's construction took nine years to complete and it was finally erected on October 12th 1931. It is made of reinforced concrete and the outer layers are made of soapstone. It is thanks to the soapstone that the statue wasn't destroyed on February 10th 2008 when there was a violent electrical storm in the city and the statue was struck by powerful lightning... being as soapstone is an insulator it gave protection from the lightning and so Christ still stands atop the Corcovado mountain...

We took the little train that takes visitors to and from the mountain, a long slow journey that takes about 20-25 minutes, with wonderful views of a rainforest along the way, the air is fresh and very humid compared to the stifling heat of the city. I had my camera and my heart was pounding... I was so excited to be finally seeing this amazing landmark up-close and I was remembering all the documentaries I had seen while the train chugged up and up... It was a clear day, the sky was dark blue without a cloud in sight and the temperature was scorching; around 40 degrees celcius (summer time)

When we reached the top we got out of the train and proceeded to walk up the hundreds of stone steps that leads up to the statue (now however these steps have been replaced by escalators - the steps before were much more romantic and left you even more breathless when you finally set eyes on Christ! - it's a shame that they replaced them)

The statue stands 120 feet tall and weighs 700 tons and as I walked around to face the front of it my jaw dropped to the ground... this truly is an amazing spectacle and I suggest to whoever can travel to Brazil one day to visit it and see for yourself! As I looked at his serene face and his arms open wide "holding" all of Rio de Janeiro I was overcome with emotion, I felt within my heart and soul that I was experiencing a truly religious moment, and it really is... being there you feel as if you are floating on air and protected by Christ's power in some way. I felt that I needed to write and tell all my family and friends about this wonderful experience. It isn't just any old statue... it has an incredible power and you really do feel it when you are there looking into his eyes, the eyes that seem to know you, that seem to be saying "everything will be alright"

The view from there is, as you can imagine, fantastic! You can see the whole of Rio de Janeiro, the whole of the coastline which includes Flamengo, Botafogo, Leme, Copacabana, Ipanema and Leblon, and also a spectacular view of the "Pão de Açúcar" (Sugarloaf mountain)

This statue that watches over the whole of Rio de Janeiro's inhabitants, me included, and keeping them safe can be seen from many roads and points in Rio and many of the local catholics "cross themselves" upon seeing it for the first time each day, giving thanks for one more day of life and beauty. Rio is a city with vast differences and many social levels, on one side you have the huge favelas (hilltop slums) full of the poor lower classes and on the other side you have neighbourhoods like Copacabana, Ipanema and Leblon which house the rich upper classes and inbetween all of this you have the middle classes. There is no black and white in Rio... just lots of grey, socially speaking, and it is a huge melting-pot of different cultures mixed into one. For me it the most beautiful and exciting city that I have ever visited and the scenery is amazing: golden sandy beaches surrounded by mountains, small rainforests inside the city and deep blue sea that goes on forever. It is very rare to see a miserable person in Rio, everyone has a smile on their face no matter how difficult their lives are and you feel the energy of the wonderful people whenever you step outside your house.

When my Mum passed away in London I went back there for a month to help my Dad with everything and to try to mourn her death, however I couldn't do it there in England as most of the time I was having to keep strong for my Dad who was falling apart, and I couldn't let him see that I too was falling apart, so the only time I got to let my feelings out was when I went to bed at night and cried into my pillow for hours. It was a complete shock for me as I wasn't told of her illness as she didn't want me to know and so I was "protected" from the pain that my Father and Sister were enduring for many months. The first news I got of her illness was when I received a telegram one day from my Father telling me to phone him immediately and that I should arrange a flight home. That very night at the airport, just before my flight, I felt compelled to phone him again and he told me that Mum had just passed away ten minutes before.... I believe that it was my Mum who was sending me this "strong instinct" that I had to phone my Dad. My life changed completely there and then and everything just went very, very black and blurry for a very long time. Needless to say that the long and lonely journey home was the worst trip of my life, hours spent looking out of the window and looking across "heaven" with tears streaming down my face, I've never felt so helpless as I did then.

When I came back to Brazil I was a different person entirely, as you can imagine, and there started 3 very long and very dark years of depression, sadness and pain, mourning my dear Mum all on my own. During that time I visited the Christ statue a few times, but the first time I went there after my Mum's passing was very emotional indeed... I chose a cloudy day and very early in the morning (so that there wouldn't be many tourists there) and went up to the mountain in the little train. When I arrived there I was the only person there. I stood in front of the Christ, looking into his eyes, and thought about my Mum, spoke to her in my mind and questioned why? Before long I was standing there crying uncontrollably and I felt as if I was ten years old again. I went over to the balcony, looked out onto the vast view of the coastline and sky and said Goodbye to my Mum.

I have been back to the Christ statue many times over the years, mostly when my family and friends have visited me and we have done all the usual tourist spots, and every single time I feel that emotion in my heart and the presence of his power up on that mountain. Whenever I'm there I don't speak... I'm not sure why, maybe it's a kind of respect for what I am witnessing or maybe it's because my mind is always full of wonderful memories that come flooding back to me at that point and everything else just gets blocked out.

I've come a long way over the years, I'm very happy and I have a wonderful life here, however it's been an uneven journey and not without many struggles and pain, but throughout it all Rio de Janeiro and it's positive energy has been the one constant that has remained with me and kept me sane.

I walk along the beach, sun shining down onto my skin, the sea breeze attaching itself to my lips as I taste it's salt. I see a friend so I say hello and shake his hand and as I continue on my morning stroll I look up towards the blue sky, up higher to the mountain and see his face looking down at me with his arms open wide. I feel safe, Christ is in town.

This post has just won the Post Of The Day Award from celebrated professional author David McMahon at "authorblog" - 10th November 2008.
Thank You so much David! I feel extremely honoured indeed!!

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For anyone who is interested here is the poem that I wrote for my Mother, entitled "Mum" as a tribute when she passed away:

http://thebritsvirtualhouse.blogspot.com/2008/03/mum-original-poetry-by-me.html

"Stop The World" - Original Poetry By Me

Stop the world,
I just want to get off,
Famine is rife,
And the fumes make me cough.

Wars that are endless,
Streets of innocent blood,
Give them some peace,
Lying dead in the mud.

But what of the goodness?
I have faith it's still there,
My Grandma once said,
God is everywhere.

So where is he now?
Has he gone to the moon?
Hoping all here,
Will be over so soon?

Man opens his eyes,
With love in his heart,
He's wishing the world,
Would just press restart.

© 11/2008

"Sowing The Seeds" - Original Poetry By Me

Pay it forward many say,
Some choose to pay it back...
The choice we make determines,
What we really, truly lack.

Some choose to walk a life alone,
Others live amongst a crowd,
Just be yourself and smile,
But make that smile so loud!

Because life is just a whimper,
A passing of a phase,
So don't wake up and wonder,
What happened to all the days?

Wake up and sow the seeds of love,
And slowly watch them grow,
Plant them always from the heart,
And you'll reap just what you sow.

© 11/2008

Ashamed To Be Human...

I am a huge animal lover. My whole life I have had animals around me and as I child I would constantly be bringing a baby bird, puppy or kitten home to my Mum that I would find hurt or abandoned on the street.
I grew up loving my dogs as if they were my Brothers and Sisters and have had dogs all my adult life and the first thing I did when I moved into my house here in Brasil was to get a puppy: my lazy Labrador "Bridget Jones" soon followed by one more: "Lucy Diamond" a tiny black mongrel, no bigger than my hand at the time, who "found me" on a busy road near my home when I was returning from shopping. I saw her and we connected... she seemed to know me, she ran up to me so happy and I loved her instantly and carried her home with me to keep. I believe that she is an "old soul" as she has an affinity with me and I truly believe that she is a reincarnation of a loved one... you can call me crazy but I really believe that. She looks at me with the eyes of someone who has known me and loved me all of my life...

My "family" increased to three last year when I bought my little baby "Minnie Osbourne" a tiny black and tan Chihuahua, who is adult now but still no bigger than my hand. She is adorable and spends every waking hour with me and is also a film-lover just like me, staying glued to the television screen when we are watching Dvd's - her favourites are romantic comedies.

Dogs never let you down, they will be there for you long after a false friend has dissappeared and long after that argument that you had with your Sister.
If you have an "angry" or "sad" day they will still greet you with a wagging tail and a lick on the hand or face to make everything better. Their love is unconditional and I can never understand why there are so many people that choose to mistreat them.

So imagine my sadness last week when Lucy was barking and crying in the kitchen after hearing something outside... I had heard the sound of a car stopping and then speeding off again...
I opened the kitchen door and let her out through the varanda into the garden... She was going crazy and barking at something outside in the quiet little road that sits alongside my house.
I couldn't see anything as it was very dark, the time was around midnight, so I went inside to get the torch to see what it was.
There outside my house was a cardboard box and as Lucy was sniffing and crying two adorable tiny puppies, no older than 4 weeks, came looking out of the box very nervously. I got my keys and rushed outside to get them and bring them into the house, horrified at the fact that some cruel bastard, or bastards, had abandoned them in the first weeks of their little lives on a dark quiet road, but of course they must have known that a dog lover lived in this house...

One was completely black and the other was black and white, very tiny and looking very scared but very happy to see me, so happy in fact that the black and white one wouldn't stop crying with excitement as if to say "Thank God! Please Help Us!" The black one was more shy, sitting in the corner and looking at me with a face that said "Thank You" - a look that could truly break your heart... it did mine.

The first thing I did was to get some spare food bowls that I have and give them food and water... they were absolutely starving and ate two whole bowls of dog food! and also drank 2 whole bowls of water... and these are big bowls! I was cursing the people who had left them outside my garden and feeling very, very sad that people can be so barbaric and unloving... I was angry!!! Not only had these people abandoned them but they left them without feeding them first.

They both did some little poo's on the kitchen floor and it was full of worms... so my next stage began: worming tablets that I always keep in the house, and gave to them both.
They were both very dirty and very skinny, but even so they looked healthy and had a nice sparkle in their eyes, nothing that the worming tablets, some good quality dog food and a warm bath couldn't fix.
Everywhere I was going they were following me, the black and white one still crying to me while the black one followed faithfully behind him, their two little bums wiggling as they walked. I was talking to them and telling them "Everything is going to be o.k. now, you're safe"

Anyway I got some old towels and took them into the bathroom to give them a warm shower with puppy flea shampoo and as I was washing them reality set in... how can I keep these beautiful babies? (yes I already had it firmly set in my mind that I was keeping them) when I already have three "Daughters" of my own? As adorable as they were I had to think rationally as three dogs are a lot of work already, cost quite a bit to feed each month and not to mention having to put them in a dog hotel when I travel... which is a lot of times each year.
How big would they grow? They aren't going to stay tiny like this forever... but my heart was breaking at the thought of all this as the connection, the bond, was already growing between us (true dog-lovers will fully understand this)
My mind was in turmoil: What to do? What to do?

Then I remembered my friend who owns the dog hotel where my girls stay when I travel...
I phoned her and asked if she had room for two more little puppies that had just been abandoned outside my garden. She said that she already has 56 dogs of her own... yes you heard me correctly: 56 dogs! all pets! (mostly strays, hurt or abandoned dogs) but remember that this is a huge dog hotel in the countryside with acres of land...
Anyway she agreed to take them and try to get them adopted, which I said must really be together as these two little beauties need each other after being abandoned so cruelly and they were also so close; following each other everywhere and "kissing" each other constantly, which was a joy to watch.

As I waited for my friend to arrive at the house I spent my last half an hour with these two little babies who had unexpectedly come into my life on that dark, cold night. Many thoughts were going through my head... but the constant thought was "Am I abandoning these two adorable puppies? Are they being abandoned for the second time in one night?" God I felt terrible! But, although I felt heartbroken that I had to deal with it rationally and could not have five dogs in my house, I felt that I had done a good thing... I had given these puppies a good start in life, they had had a lot of food and water, they had their first dose of worming tablets and also a warm bath and were climbing all over me as I sat on the kitchen floor and played with them for those final minutes.

My friend arrived and I got a clean cardboard box, put a blanket inside and gave her the two plastic food bowls that I had used for them and off they went on their next phase of their little lives...
"I'll bring the bowls and blanket back to you tomorrow" she said
"No way!" I said "They are for them!"

But there is a happy ending! Now seven days later they are living with a family who have adopted them! In the countryside with a big garden, and are getting lots of love - the love that they should have got since the very beginning of their lives, but I have hope for them and believe that they are going to be alright.
I'm just happy that whoever abandoned them decided to leave them outside my garden as some other person may not have been so kind as to take them in. Maybe they could have been unseen in the dark and could have even got knocked down by a car or killed by some wild animal.

What I can't stop thinking since that night is "Why?" - Why would anyone be so cruel as to abandon any animal? Let alone these two beautiful little puppies who only had love in their hearts?! Would they have abandoned their own child on a dark roadside in the first weeks of it's life, knowing nothing about whether it would survive or not? What kind of people exist in this world?!
One thing I know is that I don't count myself among you...

It's a good thing that I didn't see or meet the person who left them outside my garden, and who sped off into the night, as I would most probably have done something that I would have regretted afterwards...
No, it's a good thing that these "humans" will remain nameless and faceless... however I have a name for them:
Shameless, Worthless Fucking Low-Lifes.

"It's A Fool Who Plays It Cool" - A Short Story

His heart was racing, he felt his pulse vibrating like a big bass drum all through his body, he felt on top of the world and found himself smiling day and night thinking only about this new-found happiness...

"I think I love her" Jude thought as he sat on the bed thinking about her smile and looking forward to seeing her again the next day, in fact he couldn't sleep as he wanted the next day to be here now.
He lay awake remembering their first weeks together; the touches, the smiles, the laughter, the conversation, the kisses, the love-making. Everything was perfect, so perfect in fact that he felt a little afraid to think about how happy he was as not to jinx this new found love and happiness that had flown into his life like a welcome summer breeze after a long and dark winter.

Jude had had a hard time this last decade, a decade of loss, grief, broken relationships, sadness and loneliness. If anyone truly deserved to be happy it was Jude, he had enough years of bad luck and darkness...
He honestly thought that God had truly been testing him all these years and he was now hoping that, finally, he would be allowed to live and love with happiness and laughter in his world instead of all the black days that he had experienced in the past.
Some days he would look up to the sky and say "So come on God... what have you got for me this week?! Can't you just leave me alone? Please! What have I done?!"

So as he lay there in the moonlit glow of his bedroom he smiled and thought "So this is happiness... this is love..." But it wasn't just love for his new girlfriend, it was love for himself too, as he had rediscovered himself and he loved what he saw and felt within his heart, within his soul. He loved who he was, who he had become through all these years of life experience, these tests that he had had to endure.
Maybe his last true love, who he had nursed through a long and terrible illness, had sent this beautiful girl to him when he really needed her. After all just a few weeks before he was falling into another deep depression and questioning his God why he deserved such heartache.

Jude's life changed a few weeks before when he had been sitting in a London café watching the world go by when all of a sudden his eyes locked onto a girl with a luminous smile, so luminous that her heart could be seen through that sparkle in her eyes as she looked into his.
"Should I say hello?" Jude thought.... "Best not to..." he suggested to himself as he remembered all the past misfortunes and not feeling at all confident within himself.
"Hello, I'm Lucy!" she said as she approached him and reached out her hand to place within his. "I'm Jude... hello! nice to meet you!" he said nervously "Hey Jude! I love that song!" she said as she laughed, scanning his face and hair with her eyes. "Yeah I get that a lot!!" he laughed.

So just like a magical meeting written within a tacky novel they spent the whole afternoon together laughing, talking and enjoying each other's company in that London café, drinking endless cups of tea and coffee so that they would never have to leave their table.

Now, back up to date and three weeks later, Jude was lying sleepless in his bed thinking about the following day that he would be seeing Lucy. He was thinking about how he had spent ten years being shut off from the world, how he had closed his eyes and his heart to the thought of love and vowed never to be with anyone again... but sometimes when you least expect it fate lends an unexpected hand and sends you someone wonderful, an angel to save you...

Sometimes we can close our eyes to people and realise that we must have let a lot of the good ones go, but maybe all of that was meant to be as life was already planned out and the Gods had two hearts in mind that were destined to meet at a London café on a cloudy autumn day...

The next day Jude raced to Lucy's apartment, arriving there out of breath and sweating profusely as he rang her doorbell. She opened the door and they kissed and held onto each other so tight
"I missed you so much!" she said "Me too" he said "I have something so important to tell you! I have to get it out" she looked at him nervously and said "What is it?! My God tell me!!"
"I'm in love with you! I've never loved anyone as much as I realise that I love you! I was lying awake last night just thinking about you and how happy you make me!" he exclaimed to her with pride in his heart, a pride and love that he had always read about but had never really felt.
"I love you so much too!! I was worried to say it first! I didn't know how you felt about it..." Lucy said as her smile spread across her face and through to her heart.

They kissed passionately there on the doorstep. Jude felt like there was an orchestra's symphony playing throughout his body and felt it right through to his bones.
They looked into each other's eyes, took each other's hand and walked into their future together...


"Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better."

"New Day" - Original Poetry By Me

New life,
New day,
New wonder,
New way.

Old life,
Goodbye,
Old times,
Don't cry.

Now happy,
Now true,
So loving,
With you.

Pain gone,
Hurt hidden,
Past violence,
All ridden.

New day,
All true,
New life,
Thank you!

© 10/2008