Wednesday, 11 March 2009

The Hurting Time


The genius lyrics, music and voice of Annie Lennox singing "The Hurting Time"
How could she be able to put everything that I am feeling into just one song?! Genius, I love it!

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Annie Lennox – The Hurting Time

To everything there is a purpose...
To every blade of grass
And every leaf on every tree
Every living thing will surely come to pass
And what will be will be... Ooh
That's when the hurting time begins

And all the things you never said
Or didn't have the strength to say
And everything you ever did
That time won't ever wash away
Fears that you've been living with
Gone and left their trace
Tears that you’ve been living with
Come running down your face
Running down your face...
That’s when the hurting time begins...

So tell me what the day brings
Has it lost it's thrill?
Are you still searching
Hoping for that Space to fill...
Everything you turn to
Is like a mirror on the shelf
And the only one you're blaming is yourself

Don’t give me no more of that hurting stuff
Hurt me no more cause the pain’s enough!

A million little deaths you've died
The times that you've been crucified
The more you've loved and lost and tried
And still could not be satisfied
When will you be satisfied?
When will you be satisfied?
Not till, Not till
Not today yeah yeah
Not till the hurting time begins
Tell it like it is yeah, yeah
Not till the hurting time begins...


"I Wish You Only Love" - Original Poetry By Me


I have the need to scream and shout,
In a room that's full of strangers,
You stole my heart and ripped it out,
Exposed me to your dangers.

I loved you every single day,
I showed it always too,
I guess I should have always known,
There was no perfect you.

I've removed my rose-coloured spectacles,
Been blinded by your light,
Now alone with thoughts in darkness,
A future out of sight.

Life has kicked me in the arse,
It's happened once again,
Do I have the strength to bounce right back?
After all your wicked pain.

Now wading through thick water,
I'm right back at the start,
Running but getting nowhere,
You've hacked my love apart.

But no I won't be bitter,
And I won't push and shove,
You've been an inspiration,
And I wish you only love.
© 03/2009


Friday, 27 February 2009

Farewell GoneBackSouth!

Almost a year ago I met a wonderful new Blogging friend who goes by the name of "GoneBackSouth"
My own blog was just beginning and I had got off to a bumpy start and only had two readers...
I never knew what to write about and I was almost giving up having a blog when I got a visit from GoneBackSouth through the link on my main profile page of the Mike Leigh film "Life Is Sweet" - a great favourite of mine.

A connection was made and she saw the post that I had written at that time with the video of Annie Lennox and David Bowie singing "Under Pressure" at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert.
This lovely lady then wrote a post on her own blog with a link to my blog and said some very nice things about me and my writing.

Only a few hours after that I started to get so many visitors! All thanks to GoneBackSouth and she introduced me to a whole community of wonderful people, all very talented writers and truly genuine and kind people who I always doubted could exist in the virtual world!
I was also introduced to many other British expats and I was now reading many posts that I could relate to, being far from the U.K!

This week GoneBackSouth is sadly quitting her blog to concentrate on her own life and I can understand that as I too have found it hard at times to keep my blog going when I have had other things or problems to deal with.
She says that she may be back with another identity in the future, and I hope that she will, but if you don't come back GBS I want to wish you all the very best in all that you do and wish you lots of happiness, health, wealth and success in your life!

I wanted to write this post to say a big Thank You and a very sad farewell to my blogging friend GoneBackSouth.... Thank You for introducing me to many of your own blogging friends that in turn kept my blog alive and has kept me continually inspired to write new posts! I am eternally grateful.

This is the beauty of blogging: all the truly wonderful people who we meet along the way...
some we meet for just a short while, some for a long while, but everyone who we meet along the way is connected to us for a reason.
For a while we may walk along the same road, but there are times when that road becomes a junction and each person needs to take a new route, a new journey in life...

Farewell GoneBackSouth! You truly will be sorely missed! XXX




Monday, 23 February 2009

Britain's Golden Girl Kate!!


8 months ago I predicted this year's Best Actress win at the Oscar's and that was many, many months before any nominations were ever announced!
I had been reading all about the filming process of "The Reader" on the internet and I just had a great feeling about it and last night my prediction came true!!

Kate Winslet: such a tremendously talented British actress, and one of my absolute favourites, has been nominated six times.
At last nights Oscar's she finally took home the gold for Best Actress in the incredible film "The Reader"!
Her speech was as wonderful and as down-to-earth as she is and it was very emotional watching her absolute joy of winning! I felt so proud watching a fellow Brit and amazing actress win!

Congratulations Kate!!! You are England's pride and joy and you deserve all the recognition you are now receiving!!!

I watched "The Reader" at the cinema when I travelled to Rio last week and it really is an amazing film with superb performances, it's a very heartbreaking film with a strong back-story.
I highly recommend it! But don't expect to leave the cinema with a smile on your face! ;)

And in case you missed it, or want to see it again, here is her wonderful Oscar acceptance speech from last night:

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Friday, 20 February 2009

My Rio, How I Missed You!/Meu Rio, Tantos Saudades!


First of all I'd like to say sorry to all my Blogging friends for not visiting you these past couple of weeks! but you know how it is when you're travelling: the last thing on your mind is the internet and the closest I get to it when I'm travelling is by going to a cybercafe to check my e-mails, as I refuse to take my laptop with me and run the risk of having it robbed.
I promise you all that I will be visiting your Blogs again soon!

I had a wonderful time in Rio de Janeiro! I rented a wonderful one bedroom apartment in Copacabana for seven days directly in front of the beach (the photo on this post was taken from the window) and I couldn't have wished for a better holiday!
I visited old friends, met some of my ex-students for lunches in the city and had a wonderful "Welcome back to Rio" meal with my best friend and his girlfriend at their beautiful apartment in Copacabana.

I went to the beach every day (although the first few days were cloudy) and I have arrived back home very, very dark brown! I think the only time I have been this dark was when I still lived in Rio and would go to the beach every morning before teaching English in the afternoons...

I went out every night and felt alive again, I walked along the pavement (calçadão) beside the beach every afternoon and had a few ice-cold beers (chopps) and some wonderful prawn pastries (pastel de camarão) or crepes at some of the wonderful beachside kiosks that are on the pavement all along the beach. It was wonderful to just relax there, sitting alone in the sun and watching the world go by, watching all the beautiful people of Rio walking along the calçadão on Copacabana beach or gazing out across the horizon of one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

In many ways this holiday was a very liberating and spiritual experience for me. You see for many years I haven't had a holiday alone and I enjoyed it so much, I enjoyed sitting at those beachside kiosks eating and drinking on my own. For my British Blogging friends I would say it was my "Shirley Valentine" moment! haha
I just started to plan this relaxing holiday; I booked the apartment in advance on the internet and got the coach to Rio, which takes two and a half hours to arrive there.

By the way anyone who is planning to travel to Brasil I can put you in touch with some wonderful people who own private apartments to rent in Rio and much cheaper than english sites that you find on the internet...
The woman who I rented my apartment with has nine other luxurious apartments with everything you need for your stay, all in front of or very close to the beach and her prices are very reasonable indeed! (and I researched for weeks before my trip!)

While I was there I researched the possibilities of work as I am planning to return to Rio de Janeiro to live once again.
Since I have lived up here in the mountains (about two and a half hours from Rio) I haven't been so happy; the weather here is very different, there is no beach, and most of the time it is cold - in the winter it is extremely cold. Of course in the summer it is hotter but nothing like Rio.
Also the place where I live now is a very small city and there is nothing here and of course, being such a small place, there is no work for me here too and I am no longer the independent person I always was, so all of these things have added to my unhappiness here.
Of course I'm happy in all other parts of my life but I just cannot stand still in a place where my life seems frozen in time...
After all that I've been through in my life so far I know that life is far too short to be wasted, I want to live every day as if it were my last with no regrets of "I should have done that, I could have done that, I wish I had done that...."
I don't want to be spending my days just waiting for something to happen, I'm not that kind of person.

Returning home last night I realised how much I have really missed my Rio de Janeiro! There is a vibrant feel to the city and beach life, a positive uplifting spell that the sea air blows through your soul, it's a very magical place for me.
I won't lie to you: Rio does have violence like every other big city in the world but as long as you don't go to dangerous places after dark and stick to the tourist places you're o.k. Most of the crime is petty thieves stealing wallets or jewellery, but like every Carioca living in Rio I learned years ago to not walk along wearing a watch, ring or necklace. It's safer to leave all of that at home to avoid standing out as a perfect target, I would only wear my watch and ring when I am going somewhere in the evening when I would be getting a taxi to and from the place.
The same rule goes for carrying money and credit cards: I only carry the cash that I need and only one credit card, so that if I were to get robbed I know that I have my other cards safe inside the apartment.
These are all simple ways to have a great and safe holiday, after all it all boils down to common sense in the end...

I think us Brits are a bit more savvy when travelling as in Rio you can always spot the Americans walking along the beach in their clothes while everyone else is wearing only swimming trunks (Sungas) and bikinis (Biquini). They appear to be open targets to be robbed and might as well have a big sign on their foreheads that says "Please rob me!" ("Por Favor me Roubar!") as most stand in a trance looking at everything whilst wearing their flashy watches, jewellery and pointing their digital cameras/digicams at everything, oblivious that anyone can approach them with a gun ready to steal all their belongings.
Of course this isn't all Americans, and I'm not being prejudiced by mentioning this! but I have seen a lot of them in Rio over the years. The secret is to blend in with the locals which I myself learned to do when I first arrived in Brasil, but you wouldn't know that I am British until I open my mouth to speak in Portuguese with my British accent, as I have dark hair, am tanned most of the year and wear mostly Brazilian clothes.

I left Rio four years ago to escape the violence at the time, and to live in a safer place, but since returning there this week I have realised that Rio isn't as violent as I once imagined, maybe I overreacted at the time...
After all violence is everywhere these days, London is fast becoming a violent city too and the knife attacks there are terrible now, this "new fashion" that is sweeping the country where innocent people are being stabbed and killed, or scarred for life! It's not the place I once knew and always felt safe in.
At least in Rio as long as you don't react if being robbed at gunpoint you don't put yourself in danger... just give them all your belongings that they want and walk away and then work to buy everything all again. And in all my years living in Rio I was never once robbed, the only time I have ever been robbed here in Brasil was when I travelled to a place called Natal, which is in the North-East of the country and far more dangerous than Rio de Janeiro.

No, seeing my marvellous city (Cidade Maravilhosa - which is what Rio is known as here) again this week I can see that I need to return to live there, I already miss it so much and I only arrived home last night... I've always been a beach person and love living near the sea.
My friends have already begun to find me new potential private students there and all my ex-students (businessmen and women who I used to teach in companies in the city) were so happy to hear my plans of moving back there and want to return to have classes with me again, so things are looking very good for me. Even the woman who I rented the apartment with took my business card and now has five people who want to have classes with me!
I'm in a great position as it's not easy to find a native British English teacher from London who lives permanently in Rio (and who has ten years experience in teaching) and most people want to have English lessons with a native speaking teacher.
In the near future I want to find work doing something different but for the time being I know that I can get plenty of work teaching English in Rio.

I don't think we should run away from things in life, I've always faced things head-on in the very worst of situations in the past and I know that I am a survivor, anyone who has read my past posts will know that.
In fact I would go as far to say that you could put me in any country in the world and I know that I could survive, any difficulties can be overcome, the important thing is to be happy and never give up living!!


This post has been awarded runner-up contender for "Post Of The Day" for 23/02/2009 over at David McMahon's Blog Thank you very much David!


Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Enjoying The Brazilian Sunshine!


Sorry that I haven't been around for a while to read your blogs or write any new posts but I've been enjoying the Brazilian Summertime here at the moment!
The heat has been incredible and I am topping up my dark brown "almost native carioca" tan! haha

It took me many years to get used to the fact that Brazil has it's Summertime while it is Winter in the UK, totally opposite to what I was used to! and Christmas time still feels weird to me when the temperatures can be as high as 40 degrees celcius here! I would still prefer a white Christmas...

This past week I've been visiting natural waterfalls in the mountains and soon I will be visiting the city of Rio de Janeiro to have a short holiday; swim in the crimson sea, sunbathe on some golden sands and see some old friends!

Sorry for "rubbing it in" to any of my dear fellow Brit blogger friends reading this as I know that you are all experiencing the worst snow and coldest winter weather there in the UK in 18 years!
I spoke to my Dad and he can't get out of the house as he is snowed in and there is ice everywhere which is making it much too dangerous for anyone to drive anywhere!
I have told him to order his food shopping with an online supermarket home delivery service and sit it out until the "big thaw" arrives!!

When I lived in London as soon as the Winter months arrived I would be planning my holidays abroad as I could never stand the bitter cold months. So I would choose a hot place with a beach and escape there for 2 or 3 weeks - I guess I was never really your typical English guy! My soul has found it's home at last!

So all I can say to my fellow Brits is: pack a suitcase and escape to a country in the sun for a few weeks! and if you come here to Brazil I will buy you an ice-cold beer on the beach and a nice meal in a restaurant!

Talk to you all again real soon!!