Every single December,
I get the urge to just run away,
Away from a time of sadness,
That for me is Christmas Day.
My childhood was spent loving Christmas,
And our home was a grotto of cheer,
Until the day that God took my Mum,
And since then Christmas only brings fear.
So year after year I run,
Far from the shimmering lights,
Waiting until it's all over,
Blocking out the Silent Nights.
Maybe one day I'll stop running,
Maybe I'll even put up a tree,
But every year it's the same,
And Christmas can never catch me.
© 12/2008
I get the urge to just run away,
Away from a time of sadness,
That for me is Christmas Day.
My childhood was spent loving Christmas,
And our home was a grotto of cheer,
Until the day that God took my Mum,
And since then Christmas only brings fear.
So year after year I run,
Far from the shimmering lights,
Waiting until it's all over,
Blocking out the Silent Nights.
Maybe one day I'll stop running,
Maybe I'll even put up a tree,
But every year it's the same,
And Christmas can never catch me.
© 12/2008
11 comments:
AW....... was it Christmas she died? That was awful.
Felt tearful when I read that poem.
My dad died in the 80s and he died on New Years Eve just before all the banging and clattering was going on out side. In those days they banged dustbin & pan lids and people went out screaming & shouting into the streets. For years I couldn't enjoy it. However these days I don't get upset but always think of him. I am sure that will happen to you too.
Many thanks for the compliments you left on David's blog & mine!
Hope 2009 will be kind to you and yours. X
Hi Dearest Maggie,
No, you know what? It was March that she passed away but I always resonate Christmas with Mum so much as it was always her favourite time of year... she did everything, decorated the tree, made our home an amazing place and she laughed and smiled every single minute.
Her favourite time was when we opened up our presents that she gave us and to this day I just can't get through Christmas without tears for her, I hope that one day I can be like how you are with your Dad and remember her with a smile, but until then I always seem to run away from everything at Christmas and I haven't had a Christmas tree all these years since she's been gone...
I'm sure that if I still lived in the UK I would be under a psychiatrist for the depression I often feel...
Happy New Year 2009 to you Maggie! X
My father died 9 years ago (my mother, many years earlier), and there are certain times of the year I really miss him - his birthday, remembrance Sunday (he fought in WW2 and showed off his medals in the parade every year) and, of course, Christmas. I guess I'm lucky having children to make fill up the Christmas season (and most of the rest of the year).
I hope your depression lifts in 2009.
Hi Robert,
Thanks! and welcome to my blog!
Yes the special times in the year are the hardest...
And you're so lucky having children to fill that void. I wanted to adopt a child a couple of years ago but sadly my partner doesn't want children.
Happy New Year 2009! all the best to you
(((((brit))))))i understand the poem though. sometimes people who were the closest to us have a direct influence on how we live our lives even when they're gone.
did you know if not for children, i probably wouldn't celebrate christmas? i'm just not that into it.
was reading your comment about adopting kids...glad that it was not something major enough to break you two up. if you want, i can let you be surrogate uncle to my kidlets :) hehehe if you ever met them they might take ya permanently of children lmao just kidding. i love them to pieces.
So beautiful, my friend. Nowadays I've reasons to be sad at Christmas. But I believe that could be better someday. Like it used to be when I was a child...
Hugs,
Murilo
PS.: I'm sorry, but my english is terrible, like you can see now...
Dear Brit, I was so sad to read how Christmas affects you; how awful to feel so sad and alone when all about you are full of good cheer. I think that if you can believe that she is watching over you, and that it would make her so sad to see you so unhappy, it might be easier to at least try to enjoy life a bit more.
May good things happen for you in 2009.
Donnie - I'm so sorry that your Christmas will forever be tainted by your loss. The same thing happened for us with Thanksgiving. My hubby's father died 2 days after Thanksgiving - after he had cooked the entire meal himself! Thanksgiving is a very sad holiday now.
Maybe someday we'll both see it as a time to celebrate the people we loved rather than to mourn the loss, eh?
Hugs - D
Hi Ciara,
Great new photo!
Yes it's true, even after death our loved ones still have such a great influence eh?!
And yeah I would have loved to have had children, I guess that's why I now have 3 dogs! hehe
Great to see you around again! Big Hug X
Hi Murilo,
I know that we can relate to each other with these feelings that we have at Christmas time...
And don't let anyone ever tell you that your English isn't good! From what I can see here it is excellent!
Now I want to see you speaking in English more with me! o.k.? hehe
Hugs dear friend!
Hi Moannie,
Thanks for your kind words.
Yes one of the hardest things is when I see everyone so happy, spending time with their families with nothing to make them sad... all the festivity and christmas lights everywhere... all this just makes me sadder remembering her, and I do really hope that one Christmas I can feel normal again as I know that she would be so very upset to see me feeling very sad!
Hope 2009 is a great year for you too! X
Hi RiverPoet,
That is so sad about your Father-in-law! I can only imagine how truly terrible that time of year is for you both...
And that is the secret eh? - to celebrate our loved ones that have passed on rather than mourn them with sadness... however in my experience it is a very difficult thing to learn but I really hope that I can achieve it soon.
All the very best for you in 2009! X
Brit, I hope you could get "Merry" Christmas in the next future... In portuguese, there is a popular saying: "nada como um dia após o outro!" and I agree with... Also, we should celebrate the fact we live!!! After all, look at all the good things you have... Hugs!
Hi Sergio,
You're right! and thank you for your wonderful message!
I only get sad at Christmas time but the rest of the year I don't stop smiling!
I agree that life is so wonderful and we need to always remember to celebrate that!
Big Hug Dear Friend!
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