"The Number You Have Dialled Is No Longer Available" - A Short Story

"We need to talk" she said to him as he continued surfing the internet, totally numb to everything going on around him.

"What is it now? all the time with this shit!!" he shouted, without even looking at her. "I'm leaving you, I've had enough, I spend all my time alone and you are always so disconnected from me and our relationship" she said coldly but firmly.

"What?! What are you talking about?! We are always together!" he said to her, finally taking his eyes away from the computer monitor to look into her eyes, shocked and with a touch of melancholy. "You always say that we are together but I am in one room while you are in another and you spend all the time that we should be spending together on the internet, this has been going on for years now and these past weeks when you're not doing this you are out at weekends with your friends whilst I am alone, uninvited...forgotten" she replied angrily and hurt, a deep hurt that has been brewing silently inside her stomach for many months.

"Let's talk then! let's just sit down and talk and work all this out!" he suggested desperately. "No" she said "I have told you about this time and time again and I am through with talking. Whenever we have talked about things all the times before you just return to the way you are one week later, nothing changes and I need more than this, I deserve much more than this!"

He looked at her, stood up to kiss her, trying to redeem himself, but she turned her back and walked away, knowing in her mind that he will never change, no matter how many times she tries to talk to him, and that she now needs to put herself first and think about her own happiness and her own life. For the first time in 12 years she feels like a separate entity from him, scared of the unknown but enthusiastic for what could be around the corner for her, but even so she feels lost and strangely single again.

Four weeks later he returned from a trip he took without her, he turned the key in the lock and entered the silent home that was once so full of life and love. He walked up the stairs, went into their bedroom to find that the wardrobe was empty on her side, her things were gone, everything, and only his remained. He looked around the once so warm room, the room where they had shared their most intimate secrets, the bed where they had made love all night long in the first throes of passion. He remembered those first weekends when they only left the bed to drink water or to go to the bathroom. If only that time could return, if only he could wake up and feel so relieved that everything had been a complete nightmare and that she was there to greet him with a big smile and a passionate kiss that he used to feel many years before... but the light has gone.

Tears filled his eyes, regret filled his soul and all the memories of a once so happy love came flooding back into his mind. "Why couldn't I have listened to her?" he said to himself, "Why was I so selfish to believe that she was only bluffing?", "Why didn't I spend more time with her and love her every single minute?", "Why did she leave?", "Didn't she feel special?"

He sat down, switched on his computer and frantically checked for e-mails from her... nothing. He dialled her mobile telephone number: "The number you have dialled is no longer available"

The night drew in, the sky became black, the silence of the house filled his head as he sat on the bed and thought about all the "should haves, could haves, would haves" but he knew it was too late. He started counting in his mind all the chances she had given him over the years and layed down and cried uncontrollably into the single remaining pillow.

Love was found, Love was beautiful, Love was precious, Love was everything.... But Love got her revenge and walked away.

"Home Is Where The Heart Is" - Original Poetry By Me

Home is where the heart is,
And my heart belongs with you,
In every place I wander,
And everything I do.

You've shown me so much magic,
So much beauty in this land,
We swim the seas and walk the shores,
Together hand in hand.

Some days I remember my old life,
That one in London town,
A life of stress and rainstorms,
It always got me down.

But you led me to the sunshine,
To Brazil and all it's charms,
We travel seeing everything,
And wake up in each other's arms.

© 08/2008

Neighbours From Hell

Since I can remember I have always had the misfortune of having bad neighbours. Whether they were nosey, intrusive, noisy, annoying, stupid, the negativity list is endless... So I have always kept myself to myself without getting too involved with them, nothing more than a Hello or Good Afternoon...
And since I have lived in Brasil I can see that people here, in general, love to have a healthy relationship with their neighbours, in fact people's neighbours know almost everything about their lives - I think this is just too weird.
Over the years I have lived in many different apartments and houses in Brasil and my Brazilian friends always ask me "What are your neighbours like?"
Well, the "neighbours from hell" have followed me here too!

I'm a very calm, friendly, no-nonsense kind of guy and I can get along well with virtually anyone, so why is it that I attract such bad neighbours? Is it all just bad luck or is my God testing me?!

My current neighbour for instance pulled me aside 2 days after I moved in and told me her whole life story at the garden gate, which took more than 2 hours.
In that time I was told that she was recently divorced, has a Daughter that the Father refuses to pay any child support for, lives next door to her Brother and Sister-in-law who argue with her constantly and that all the surrounding neighbours think that she is a prostitute because she got a divorce and is dating another man...
I won't bore you with the rest as I was almost sleeping whilst leaning on the gate that day.
After she told me all of her "soap-opera style" revelations I went into my house thinking "she seems like a nice woman who has just had some bad luck with friends and family..." How wrong I was!

She has 3 big dogs which she insists on keeping outside in her garden day and night, even in the bitter cold winter nights, and they bark constantly... every minute of every day for no reason.
For the first 3 weeks that I lived here I couldn't sleep at all as her garden backs onto my bedroom and it sounds as if the dogs are barking right next to my bed, but after 3 years I have just got used to it and have never complained, sleeping through it all.
She also causes lots of problems for her neighbours (her Brother and Sister-in-law) and I hear them arguing endlessly with her about all the confusions she has caused, in fact most of the surrounding neighbours seem to have alienated her completely.

She once said to me "Wow I haven't seen you for weeks! were you travelling?" and I replied "No, I've been here the whole time" to which she replied "You really are the best neighbour that I have ever had! I never hear you!" and my ironic mind thought: "I wish I could say the same about you darling!" but I just smiled and said "I'm just a calm guy who loves to live peacefully" (even my girls, my own dogs, are peace-loving creatures and only bark when it really is necessary)

Maybe when I move I will have better neighbours who have more consideration for other people... but good or bad I will still be keeping myself to myself and living in my own little house of peace, as getting involved with neighbours would surely be hell!

Lyrics and Music To Inspire....

This is the new single from Mariah Carey "Bye Bye"

I decided to post it here as every time I hear this song it reminds me of people I've lost and even though it's a sad song the message is a very positive one as it reminds us that our loved ones that have passed away are still around us and in our lives every single day - something that I believe in and know to be true! Enjoy!!

Home Sweet Home... Again

Soon I will be moving once again... to a new city here in Brasil. This is a plan that I have had for over a year now and I am finally getting there!

I have seen a few houses and have finally found the perfect one; quite a new and modern house, 4 bedrooms, one en-suite, large 2-level living room, big kitchen, a games room in the basement - which will be an ideal room for Bridget and Lucy, as Minnie always stays with me and lives in my bedroom (these are my dogs for who doesn't know me) There are balconies on every bedroom and one leading out onto the large garden from the kitchen. All rooms are full of light from wonderful big windows and the rooms are full of brazilian wooden beams, staircases leading up to each level and beautiful marble floors. The garden is perfect for the girls to run around in as it is all surrounded by walls and it's very private and secure too... there aren't any neighbours nearby, only way up the road, which is excellent! The view from the windows and bedrooms is fantastic! a complete view of nature: mountains, forests and deep blue skies. The garden is also full of fruit trees: limes, tangerines and papaya.

I won't be moving until a couple of months from now but at least the house-hunting part is over, the next part will be the worst: packing up everything and moving, I hate all of that! But once it is all done with it will be great and so much better than the house I am living in now...

This house that I have lived in for the past 3 years is full of problems, the garden is the best thing about it, however inside the house is a nightmare as in the Winter and cold weather it is full of damp problems, particularly the downstairs living room which thanks to the damp mould that appears on the walls is unliveable, so the room was never set up to be used and I have lived out of boxes for 3 years (and being a Taurus this is hell for me!) My living room furniture has stayed unused and stored away in the basement at the bottom of the house for the past 3 years and, apart from the kitchen, I mostly live in the upstairs of the house especially my bedroom which has become the sleeping area and living room combined, chock full with my television, home theatre, bed, desk, e.t.c...

So as you can imagine I have never been happy here... adding to this the fact that this house doesn't have a "good soul"- something that I have come to recognise in every house that I have ever lived in or visited. Maybe it's a spiritual thing or maybe it's just because I am a very sensitive person but I can always sense these things and can also sense when a spirit is near me too. This house here is a very unhappy house, maybe something bad happened here in the past or maybe it has just never seen any joy of life... needless to say that in the last 3 years that I have lived here this sense of depression has attached itself to me and I can't wait to escape the darkness of this place, I always sense some very bad spirits and bad karma here.

The 3 times that I have been to the new house in the new city I have felt nothing but joy, lightness, happiness and goodness in it's "soul" it felt like home already and when I entered the house for the first time I felt like I was home: happy and safe.... something that I felt when my Mum took me along to our family home in London the first time that we viewed it when I was 11 years old... She always trusted my instinct and would always ask me if I felt o.k. there when we looked at a new house and if I felt it had a good soul, if it felt like a happy place. That house became our family home and my Dad lives there until today and we have had a lot of good memories there. It is the only place that I can honestly call "home" and maybe because of my Mum and my family it always will be... but hopefully in a couple of months I will feel at home once again in the wonderful new happy house with the good soul and the kind heart.

The Fantastic Julie Walters as "Rhona"

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"Friends say to me: You're mad, Rhona. Rhona, you're mad! And I say: You're wrong. You're so, SO wrong!" - The hilarious comedic genius of Julie Walters!

This video is from the late 80's from the "Victoria Wood as seen on T.V." television comedy programme - sheer quality!
It's so great to see this really funny sketch again and be reminded what fantastic talent we have in the U.K!
In my opinion Julie Walters and Victoria Wood were always the best, along with French and Saunders! and it's on days like this that I feel so proud to be British!!
Now who hasn't met a woman like Rhona?!! haha