"Amor Amor Amor" - Original Poetry By Me

Our love has taken me higher,
So much higher than before,
Feelings now much stronger,
Fall into your arms Amor.

And each time we are together,
You charm me with your love,
Your loving ways are everything,
And your kisses fly above.

You are the one I've dreamed of,
And now we wear our rings,
So happy; so together,
With all the joy love brings.

So once again I tell you,
That you're everything to me,
As we walk hand in hand,
For all the world to see.

Amor you've changed my life,
So in love like never before,
You are my Brazilian Beauty,
Meu Amor Amor Amor.

© 07/2009

Never Be Afraid To Be Yourself...

Reading back over some past posts of mine I found the words that my Mum had written in a card that she gave me the very last time that I saw her, the day that I came to live in Brasil.
It was from the post "Scenes From Another Room: My Story - Part 2"
She wrote the card as I was sleeping the very last night that we spent together in London. She hadn't been able to sleep and spent almost all night in the kitchen thinking, crying and writing these words to me:

My Beautiful Darling Son,
This week has been the worst week of my life, knowing that I am losing you. I've tried to hide it from you as I didn't want to spoil our last week together. Go and live your life and always be happy, the way that I have seen you these past few months. Travel as much as you can and see the world and then when you write home and tell me all about it I will live through your eyes and see everything that you have seen. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to have a Son as wonderful as you, as loving as you, as thoughtful and kind as you are.
Always follow your dreams, anything you want to do just do it because too much time is spent in life thinking about whether or not we should do something and worrying about what other people think, so never be afraid to be yourself...
I've put three thousand pounds in this card so that you have some money to fall back on should you need it, but if times are ever hard out there let us know and we will send you some more. I love you, I love you, I love you! and see you next Christmas!
All my love, Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That time was terrible for both of us and I can say without a doubt in my mind that it was the hardest thing about coming to live here, knowing that I would be far from my Mother who was always the biggest inspiration in my life, my biggest support, and never in a million years would I have imagined that only one year later she would be gone from my life forever.

But reading those words of her's again now she reminds me why I have always sought happiness in my life.... it has always been my Mother who has given me the inspiration to seek happiness, to grasp opportunities to be happy and to live my life every single day.
So I don't feel sad when I read her beautiful words to me.... I smile.
I feel extremely lucky and blessed to have had an extremely loving and modern Mother who showed me so much love every single day of my life, who supported me through good times and bad times, and taught me that all kinds of love are important in this world and that nobody has anything to be ashamed of; if they love somebody of the same sex, of a different colour or religion... She always said "Love is love in any language, no matter what"

She was, and still is, so important to me in my life that I know that she is always still around, I feel her around me so often, and there's no doubt that she is smiling for me now in this extremely happy and joyful new beginning in my life!

I love you forever Mum! Walk by my side always and whenever I need you I will reach out to hold your hand...

"Everything Is You" - Original Poetry By Me

When I'm by your side I'm happy,
A happy that I've never been,
Secretly holding hands on buses,
Stealing kisses in between.

When I'm alone I think of you,
And all the wonderful things you are,
Your laughter, looks and tenderness,
You are my Brazilian Star.

When I sleep at night I dream of you,
With a smile fixed on my face,
I hear your words all full of love,
They fly around the place.

But when we are together,
Oh together: no greater power,
I want those moments to last eternally,
Kiss you forever in the shower.

What I'm saying is you've rocked my world,
I love you; everything you are and do,
For me, my love, you're everything,
And everything is you.

© 06/2009

"Amazing" - Original Poetry By Me

I'm running a fever,
My heart's gonna blow,
Crazy in love,
It's amazing you know!

See the sun in your hair,
The sea on your skin,
See the love in your eyes,
This heaven we're in.

Wanna shout from the rooftops,
This poet's in love!
A kiss from your lips,
Sends me soaring above.

Meu amor, eu te amo!
Meu coração e seus,

Seus olhos falar tudo,

Meu presente de Deus.

And I can't think of nothing,
Just you, only you...
I'm yours so completely,
I'm yours oh so true.

Because your love is like magic,
With your touch I take flight,
As you kiss me and hold me,
All through the night.

Oh this feeling's amazing,
Amazing is you!
And amazing is us,
And our love oh so true.

© 06/2009

The Way He Makes Me Feel

This beautiful song by Barbra Streisand just says it all for me...

http://

There's no chill and yet I shiver
There's no flame and yet I burn
I'm not sure what I'm afraid of
And yet I'm trembling

There's no storm yet I hear thunder
And I'm breathless why I wonder
Weak one moment then the next I'm fine
I feel as if I'm falling Every time I close my eyes
And flowing through my body Is a river of surprise
Feelings are awakening I hardly recognize as mine

What are all these new sensations
What's the secret they reveal
I'm not sure I understand
But I like the way I feel

Oh why, why, why, why, oh Why is it that every time I close my eyes he's there
The water shining on his skin, The sunlight in his hair
And all the while I'm thinking things
That I can't wait to share with him...

I'm a bundle of confusion
Yet it has a strange appeal
Did it all begin with him And the way he makes me feel
I like the way he makes me feel, he makes me feel,
I like the way, I like the way he makes me feel.

Back To Life

"So I held my breath and jumped..."

First of all I want to say sorry for not being around so much but I have had some very good reasons...

All my dear blogging friends and people who have been following my blog will know that the past four or five months have been extremely difficult for me. I ended a long-term relationship of 13 years and even though I hadn't been happy for the last 5 years of it it was still a very stressfull time for me as I needed to re-start my life without knowing what the next day would bring... not knowing if I would be o.k. and if I could survive it all.
I decided that I couldn't spend the rest of my life in that situation and that if I didn't make a decision it would risk my future happiness and well-being, so I held my breath and jumped...
But even though it was a very scary time it was also very exciting to actually not know where the future would be taking me, there's something very energizing and therapeutic about all of that... So I made myself strong, kept a one-track mind and just thought about myself and my happiness in life, it was the best decision I have ever made, thank God that I have got through the worst.

I moved back to Rio alone and I am still in a transition, professionally speaking, as I am having interviews and looking for work. But I am optimistic and I know that everything will work out for me as I have some wonderful guardian angels looking after me and guiding me in the right directions, I truly believe that, as my life has always worked out o.k. in the past and out of every terrible situation that I have been through there has always been joy and happiness at the other side of the tunnel. Maybe it's just the way that I deal with things, thinking positively and striving to improve everything in my life without distractions. I know that I am stronger than I think and it is at these times that I truly surprise myself as to what I can be capable of, but I like to think that there is a spiritual side to it all and that we only have a certain amount of control of our destinies - everything is already mapped out for us.

But something truly wonderful has happened to me: I'm in love, but so in love!! and I am the happiest I have been in many years.
His name is Claudinho, he is 25 years old, moreno (which is the name given to a Brazilian with naturally tanned skin), Carioca (which is the name given to someone from Rio de Janeiro), dark hair, dark eyes, a typical Brazilian latin guy and extremely handsome, loving, funny and caring.
We are in a serious relationship and I can't think about anything else in this world and I feel ten years younger!
We go out every weekend, we go to the beach and we have a great time.... life is so wonderful!!!

There's been rain and storms in my life, there's been heartache, pain, loss and tears, but the sun has come out and shone onto my life, bringing me golden love, happiness, laughter and joy, and boy do I deserve it!!!

Whoever my God is I thank you for getting me through all of this and giving me back my smile and laughter, throughout everything I never lost faith.

This is dedicated to you Claudinho - Eu Te Amo!!!!!